Category: Art Of Loving One Another

Full Book Manuscript in Blog Format

Take This Personally (b)

The Sinful One Another

Of course we all sin. Here I am talking about the believer who is living in sin and is seemingly unrepentant. We recognize this because she keeps doing the same sin over and over. Often these one anothers are very close to us and that is why it is so hard to love them day in and day out. Let me say up front, that if you are being abused by anyone, believer or not, remove yourself and those under your care immediately! You’re not loving them by staying in harm’s way. You will see what I mean shortly. Right now, get out and get help!

Along with abuse, there are many other painful, complicated, and damaging sinful behaviors that Satan wants to use to take everyone involved to a breaking point. At this breaking point, we not only stop loving one another, we stop loving and trusting God. This is Satan’s ultimate prize. We cannot let him have it!

This sinful one another may be your husband who continues to view pornography though he always vows to stop. It may be your child who continues to steal from you to support his drug and/or alcohol habit. It may be your daughter who is on live-in boyfriend number four. It may be your teenager who has decided it is easier to cheat to make it through school than it is to do the homework. It may be a sibling’s angry outbursts whenever you dare to disagree with her. Or it may be____________ you fill in the blank.

Whatever the sin, whoever the one another, however long it’s been going on, all you know is that you don’t know how to love them anymore. These are real, serious, and complicated one another living situations and I would not be so arrogant to think I could solve them in just a few pages. In fact, if I wrote a thousand volumes I would not be able to solve them. But I am confident Jesus can not only solve them but redeem them. My goal is to point you to His Words and solutions. He will help you with the day to day and moment by moment thoughts, decisions, and actions you need to make.

The first thing I believe we have to do for these habitual sinful one anothers is to pray for them and maybe not in the way you first think. Of course we want the sin to stop. Of course we want them to turn their lives around. But first and foremost, we must pray for them to want God more than their sin. This relieves us from the burden of figuring out if they are truly born-again or not. In this prayer, the question of salvation rests squarely with God where it belongs. 

If they are believers, then God will deal with them as His children and do all that is necessary to bring them back in fellowship with Him. If they are not truly saved, then God will continue to call them to Himself. Neither of these processes will be easy on you, but your heavenly Father will sustain and empower you. That leads to the second prayer.

This prayer is for you personally and asks God to use you as He sees fit and to keep you out of the way as needed. We are usually more than willing for the “use me” part, but the “keep me out of the way part”…not so much. It is hard for us to fathom that God will have victory in the life of our one another without us, especially if that one another is our child. But for the eternal sake of our one another and for the sake of God’s glory, we must be willing to be used or to get step out of the way.

I believe most often these two prayers are answered with parameters for us and for our sinful one another. We must remember that Jesus didn’t just go around spreading a hippy kind of “all you need is love” gospel, giving license for people to do whatever they wanted. Jesus consistently taught about his parameters, not to earn our salvation, but to live out our salvation. 

Take This Personally (a)

Don’t you just love it when someone opens a conversation with, “Now, don’t take this personally?” Of course there is little chance you will take what they say any other way. Not only that, now all sorts of sirens, red flags, and fireworks are going off in your heart and mind. Whatever this person is about to say is going to be exaggerated within your psyche and a perfectly good day is about to be ruined. We humans like to play these mind games, don’t we?

Thank God, He does not play games at all, mind or any other kind. He always speaks truth. He always loves holy and wholly.

And He always deals with us personally. He is not some distant god or force that checks in on earth’s inhabitants every couple centuries or so. Neither is He a galactic Santa Clause just waiting to give us everything we want once He checks whether we’ve been naughty or nice. He’s not my dad who said one thing, but modeled something else. He’s not your dad who abandoned the family or wished he could abandon you. He is Jehovah!

God does not fit in our myriad of boxes we try to cram Him in. The whole universe cannot contain Him! And yet, He personally lives within each of his children (Holy Spirit) in rich and deep fellowship. How sad He must be when we glibly pass over His Love Letter to us and refuse to apply His infinite wisdom to our lives.

He doesn’t want us to face sin’s consequences. He doesn’t want us to live in hate and bitterness. He doesn’t want us to live in disunity. He doesn’t want anyone to perish. However, He will not force us to love Him or each other.

Recently I read a plaque which stated, “The only book where the author shows up every time you read it. The Bible.” I think another plaque could read, “The only book where the readers don’t always show up even when they read the words. The Bible.” 

God wants us to know Him personally (salvation), He wants us to fellowship with Him personally (justification), and he wants us to obey Him personally (sanctification). God wants us to take Him at His Word and take His Word personally.

John 13:34-35 is not just for our pastor and his wife. It is not just for the deacons and elders in our church. It is not just for the cantankerous old man who snores two pews behind us. And it is not just for our spouse and kids. It is a personal commandment for us. It is a personal way of life for us. It is a personal ability for us. It is a personal result for us. God is talking to you and me.

We must take this personally, and that is exactly what we are going to do.

We are going to peer into the lives of two of the most difficult one anothers we are commanded to love. You know the ones I mean…those brothers and sisters in Christ who just drive us crazy or bring tears to our eyes more often than laughter to our soul. It is hard to love fellow believers who frustrate us at every church meeting or block every ministry we try to initiate or hurt our best friend one too many times.

We all have difficult one anothers, and if we are honest, we will admit we can be one of the difficult one anothers at least now and then. So as we pull back the curtain on these difficult one anothers, let’s look at ourselves first and take care of our log before we focus on the twig of someone else. Only then can we learn how to love in spite of all the difficult ones.

Seeking Abigail: Scene Ten

…and many believed in the Lord. Acts 9:42b

Abigail remained seated on the grassy knoll overlooking the river. Chloe stood on the bank talking with Tabitha and some of the other widows. They were all smiling and talking at once, using animated gestures. She could not hear their words, but guessed they were planning another opportunity for Peter to speak and for Tabitha to share her story. What did Chloe call it? She scrunched her brow trying to remember. A testimony of something…something or was it the other way around: something…something testimony? She was always so bad about details. She pulled her knees up to her chest and smiled. It did not matter. Not now. 

“She lives.” Abigail whispered the words over and over as she watched one person after another kneel in prayer on the riverbank and then step into the water. 

Judah, Peter the Apostle, and some other men she did not know spoke intimately with each person, immersed them in the water, and then pulled them out again. She could not remember what this was called either, but she wanted to know. 

This whole thing truly was a miracle! There was no other name for it. There was no other explanation. A dozen witnesses, including Chloe and Judah, swore before the swelling crowd that indeed Tabitha was dead, but now she lives. A few people threw themselves at Peter’s feet and tried to worship the apostle, but they were quickly pulled to their feet while Peter proclaimed with a loud voice that Tabitha lived because of Jesus the Christ, the Living Messiah.

Abigail asked the open air, “Can all our religious leaders be wrong?” 

“Yes, they can.” Elias sat down next to her.

The stunned girl murmured, “It is you.”

“Yes.” He smiled broadly. “It is me.”

As if for the first time, Abigail looked deeply into his face. His eyes twinkled with a bright radiance she had not noticed before. Or had she? And his smile was sincere and generous. The richness of his laughter from the Sabbath meal filled her thoughts. Goose bumps suddenly appeared on her arms and she shivered involuntarily. Without a word, Elias jumped up and removed his cloak and then placed it around her. His strong hands lingered for just a moment on her shoulders. The goose bumps doubled in number, but she willed herself to remain composed. 

She thought she should say something, but nothing even remotely coherent formed in her mind. All that came out was a barely audible, “Thank you.”

“What?” Elias turned to her. “Did you say something?”

“Oh…uh…” Abigail pulled his cloak in tighter to her goose bump-filled body. “I just said, ‘Thank you.’” 

“Ah…well…you are welcome.” A trace of disappointment edged his words, but his addictive smile never wavered.

A well of regret threatened to burst within her. Regret for all the rude remarks and cold shoulders she had hurled at this man…and at Judah…and even at Chloe, her closet friend. She was not always this way, was she? It was all this Jesus nonsense that made her so…so intolerant, just like her father. She gasped!

“What is it, Abigail?” Elias’ smile vanished and concern etched over his face. “Are you ill? I can take you home.”

“I…I need…” She shook her head. “How can I become one of you?

It Needs Repeating (e)

Wisely, Joshua didn’t try to fill Moses’ sandals. He was his own man and cultivated his own relationship with God, and he indeed led the Israelites with strength and courage. Sure, he had setbacks. Sure, he didn’t get everything right. But, he made a choice to listen to God’s repeated instructions. As a result, he accomplished God’s goal for his life. He was far from average and received the same one line affirmation Moses did at the end of his life.

It came about after these things that Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died, being one hundred and ten years old.
And they buried him in the territory of his inheritance in Timnath-serah,
which is in the hill country of Ephraim, on the north of Mount Gaash.
Israel served the LORD all the days of Joshua and all the days of the elders who survived Joshua, and had known all the deeds of the LORD which He had done for Israel. 

Joshua 24:29-31

It would be easy for us to ignore this triple instruction from God to Joshua as not being applicable to us. We will not be going to war anytime soon or marching around fortified cities for seven days. In fact, some days the biggest decision we will make is whether to eat at Wendy’s or pack a lunch. However, we know that just when we seem to have it all together, life hits. We are reminded we are smack in the middle of a fierce spiritual battle and are instructed to take on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:11). Sometimes just doing everyday life takes a triple dose of “strong and courageous,” especially when it comes to this whole love one another thing!

Just as it seems odd that God would instruct a warrior to be strong and courageous, doesn’t it seem odd that Jesus would have to tell His closet followers to love one another? I mean they roamed around Judea for three years together and witnessed countless miracles. They walked and talked with Love Himself! Surely they knew how to love. It was woven into their very being. Love was something they were comfortable with. It was natural. Wasn’t it?

Maybe you have learned first-hand, as I have: it is often hard to love some of the one anothers in our lives. Even those we love dearly can drive us to our knees seeking courage and strength for one more day. Surely many a Christian parent’s knees are bruised over their strong-willed or wayward child. I know I am safe in saying that others have probably been on their knees in dealing with me.

I hold no claim in being an easy one another to live with.

My friend, if loving one another came naturally and was easy, God wouldn’t waste His eternal ink on the subject. On the contrary, loving—truly loving as Christ loves—demands more strength and courage than a legion of soldiers on the most brutal battle field. We can’t even come close to God’s standard of love yet we’re commanded to love throughout the Bible. It is as overwhelming as a land filled with giants and fortified cities.

But Praise His Name, God never leaves His children to their own devices when He gives a command. Just as He guided Joshua in very specific and practical ways, He shows us, through His Son, how to love one another.

Discussion

Our second application is to double or even triple bless just one one another this week. Try to make the blessings something unexpected and out of the ordinary. If you don’t know where to start, begin within your home of one anothers. Those disciples of Jesus who live with you are always a good choice to bestow blessings upon. It doesn’t have to be anything monetary; in fact, I would encourage blessings of the non-monetary nature. Be creativity, be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and I am confident you will be double blessed or even triple blessed as well!

It Needs Repeating (d)

Okay, back to Joshua! It is the end of the 40 years of wandering. Now the children of Israel sit on the edge of the Promised Land leaderless, but not for long. God has a man and his name is Joshua. He has big shoes to fill and a large contingent of followers who are better at wandering than following. What will God tell him? How will He instruct this new leader?

Be strong and courageous, for you shall give this people possession of the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous; be careful to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you may have success wherever you go. This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success. This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.
Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous! 
Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:6-9

I find God’s instruction here intriguing. In my way of thinking, it seems there would be little need for God to tell a mighty man like Joshua to be strong and courageous. After all, he and Caleb were the only ones within a whole generation with any moxie. They were not afraid of the giants or fortified cities in the Promised Land.

They were more than ready to pack it up and move in; 40 years ready!

Wouldn’t it make more sense to repeat three times something in regard to a weakness within Joshua’s skills and talents rather than an obvious strength? Did he need help with his public speaking skills? Or maybe he could have a lesson in angel recognition? Why did God instruct him multiple times about something that was natural…normal…comfortable for him? Strong and courageous was woven into Joshua’s very being. No man would dare call Joshua a coward. Is that what God was doing?

On the contrary! God first affirmed Joshua’s skills and position of leadership and his success in securing the land (v. 6). God then gives Joshua instructions on the foundational pieces for achieving that success. As for the repetition, I can think of eight distinct reasons God repeated the command to be strong and courageous. Maybe you can add to this list.

  • Joshua was indeed strong and courageous as Moses’ right-hand man, but now he was the leader of millions of people who did not have a great track record of cooperation.
  • The preverbal buck would now stop with Joshua. No more running to Moses.
  • God was now speaking directly to Joshua as He had done with Moses. That alone would be enough reason to need more strength and courage.
  • Joshua was a brave warrior and military general seasoned in tactical warfare, but his first battle in the Promised Lane would be won with his sword in its sheath. 
  • God was about to ask him to not just step out of his comfort zone, but to dump that comfort zone in the trash heap.
  • It takes strength and courage to stay on course and a new course at that. This new direction was the law (v.7). It’s no coincidence that meditating on the laws given to Moses was also repeated in these instructions (v. 8). Before Moses, God had not actually written His expectations down anywhere. Now they were written down for all of Israel and humanity. For Joshua, there was no excuse for not following it.
  • Prosperity and success require a great deal of strength and courage (v.7, 8). Power and achievement are strong distractions from following God’s instructions.
  • Finally, often a personal great strength can easily turn into a greater weakness when one loses sight of God’s perspective.

Discussion

We have two practical applications to work on this week as we wind down our time together.

The first is to ask God to open our eyes and ears so we may comprehend when a fellow one another blesses us and then respond with appropriate thankfulness. This may seem silly and unnecessary because we assume we surely notice when we are blessed. But I wonder if we really do. As women, I think we have so many expectations of the one anothers within our circle we are calloused about being thankful when they bless us.

Let’s ask ourselves:

  • Are the morning and bedtime hugs and kisses treasured moments or commonplace rituals?
  • Is that firm handshake from Pastor So-and-So second nature to you, except when it isn’t extended?
  • Does the smile across the conference room given by the only Christian co-worker at work go unnoticed most days or do you smile back and lift her/him up in a quick prayer?
  • When you share a prayer request in small group or Bible study and one or more sisters in Christ name your name before the throne, does your heart skip a beat in wonder or is your spiritual EKG flat?

Every single day God blesses us through one anothers and we should be thankful and full of praise. But because we are in a hurry or rattled or expectant, we don’t hear or see the blessings let alone take opportunity to bless our one anothers back.

This week, ask God to help you see your life and your circle of one anothers with heightened spiritual senses and respond with a heart of praise.