Discussion

• Can you remember a time when your own lack of love brought negative consequences? What could you have done differently? Have you sought forgiveness from God and from others? Ask God to help you to do this.

• Which qualities of love are exhibited in the following Scriptures? How can you exhibit these qualities today?
• Matthew 16:23
• John 14:1-4
• Matthew 11:28
• Mark 5:21-43
• Luke 19:1-9

• Write down times in your life when someone has exhibited to you the love attributes listed below. Write down times when you have exhibited these attributes to someone else.
• Love is patient.
• Love is kind.
• Love does not brag.
• Love rejoices in the truth.
• Love endures all things.

• Pick the one love quality from I Corinthians 13 you most need to work on. What is hindering you from putting this love attribute into practice? What can you do to remove these hindrances? How can you move forward in exhibiting this love attribute?

The definition of love found in I Corinthians 13 is long and overwhelming. As mere mortals, it is impossible for us to master all of these qualities at once or even master one on a regular basis. Right now, Satan and our own low expectations want to discourage each of us from even trying because of the seemingly impossibility of it all. We need to fight against that with God’s truth.

God wants us to see the scope of its beauty and He wants us to experience the wealth and abundance love brings into our lives when we submit to His enabling power. So, as we approach this week’s application, we must remember it is NOT about performance. That is not love. It is about a Person and our reflection of that Person to the people in our lives.

It’s easy when reading through such a passage as I Corinthians 13 to think, “Nope, not very patient” and “Nope, not very kind” and “Yep, I think too highly of myself.” But the truth is, we do love well in multiple areas. The examples of our parents, family, and friends teach us how to love and how not to love. Our time in prayer and Bible study also teaches us in this vital area. Some of us are kind most of the time. Some of us have the patience of Job. Still others radiate hope during the most ominous of circumstances.

Let’s not beat ourselves up, nor should we puff ourselves up. As we have seen often in this book, balance is the key to true success in the art of loving one another.

With that final backdrop, let’s get to the business of loving those around us. Let’s be intentional, deliberate, and hard working. Let’s be on the lookout for chances to love. Let’s be sensitive to the times we missed the chance to love or we haven’t been loving when we should have. Then let’s be committed to making it right.

When your child spills another glass of milk, be patient. When your husband forgets to stop for the milk, be kind. When your friend’s chocolate mocha milkshake wins second place in a magazine contest, do not be jealous. When your strawberry/mango milk smoothie wows the ladies at Bible study, do not be arrogant or seek your own praise.

When your sister tells you that dress makes you look fat, do not behave unbecomingly. Do not hold a grudge against your sister for calling you fat. When your husband comes home, do not ask him if the same dress makes you look fat; do not provoke. Do not rejoice in the fact that your neighbor would not even fit in the dress because she clearly weighs more than you do. 

When a famous person gets lots of media attention for yet another DUI, do not covet their fancy car, mega mansion, and closet full of clothes. When the missionary shares her story of living in the bush of Africa and tending to the needs of widows and orphans, rejoice with tears for the Truth being spread to the ends of the earth. 

When another person is stricken with cancer, pray for her, stay with her, and meet as many needs as you can. When the cancer seems to be winning, believe God holds her in His hands, hope for His eternal glory, and endure with her until His glory is known. 

Always remember that with Christ, love never fails!

Journal’s Malice

You thought I was going to leave you hanging in this story, didn’t you? Love would not allow me to do that, to you or to my friend from long ago. Even today, I strongly believe my friend’s biggest mistake was her journaling. She was obsessive about it and you may have surmised she used her journals to chronicle all the wrongs done to her and to her family and friends. Not just my sin, everybody’s. It wasn’t until that night I realized just how wide spread her personal record keeping was within our church.

Please don’t misunderstand. It’s not that journaling is bad. It is, in fact, just a tool. But when it was used in direct opposition to love’s definition in I Corinthians 13, it turned into a tool of Satan.

There really is no other way to put it. It caused great pain to me personally, setting back years of progress I had made in keeping my walls down and trusting others. It also caused deep rifts in that local church body from which they have yet to fully recover even decades later.

And before you take up an offense for me with my friend, please understand that I am just as responsible for what took place that night and the aftermath as she was. You see, many of the accusations she brought against me were true. At first, I agreed with her on several points. It was her motives that spilled out all over her delivery that made the difference in what was communicated that evening.

But that shouldn’t have mattered. I had (and have) the unfathomable power of Jesus living in me through the Holy Spirit. I didn’t have to respond in an ungodly way. What does love say? It does not seek its own. It is not provoked. Trust me! I was all about seeking my own protection and I was more than just a little provoked that night and for a long time afterward. We share the blame for the dishonor brought to the Lord that night and the battle lost to our true enemy, Satan.

With all the years and miles that have separated me from that night, I still remember the awful, deep oppression I felt in that room. I hope I never forget it because it is a good reminder of what happens when God’s children dwell in disobedience. (Again, me as well as my friend.)

In the weeks immediately following that night, I chalked up that oppressiveness to being raked over the coals and subsequently being really ticked off. But through months of healing and prayer with my husband, we both agreed there was a major spiritual battle going on in that suburban living room. We both regret we didn’t see the battle for what it was. So much could have been prevented.

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.  

1 Corinthians 13:11-13

Since that night decades ago, I have distinctly felt similar types of oppression. But now I know to put on God’s armor and fight my real enemy with all God’s power and might. That doesn’t mean I come out of the battle without a scratch. It does mean I come out of the battle singing His praises and glorifying my Savior’s name. I cannot describe in words the difference.

But I say, it is not me…it is all God!

We moved shortly after this incident, and not long after that, so did my friend. It took some time, more than it should have, but I tracked her down and wrote a letter seeking her forgiveness and telling her I valued our friendship. She replied and we kept in touch for a while as friends, but more importantly as one anothers. Life and miles have happened and we will probably never see each other face to face again in this lifetime, but I so look forward to spending eternity with her where we will abide together in our Savior’s love!

This story will never be over and I’m so glad!

Love: Love does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked. 

1 Corinthians 13:5

Jesus: Pilate questioned Him, “Are You the King of the Jews?” And He answered him, “It is as you say. The chief priests began to accuse Him harshly. Then Pilate questioned Him again, saying, “Do You not answer? See how many charges they bring against You!”
But Jesus made no further answer; so Pilate was amazed.

Mark 15: 2-5

Love is not rash and neither is Jesus. He was never provoked to do anything because He did not seek His own will but rather He sought to do the will of God the Father. Even in the most terrible circumstances, He never lowered Himself to be unbecoming. He always behaved like the King of Kings. And quite simply, we should behave like children of the King of Kings!

So, the next time we want to whine and kick and scream, let’s remember Whose we are and behave like the royal children we are.

Love: Love does not take into account a wrong suffered.

1 Corinthians 13:5

Jesus: Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. 

Matthew 5:11-12

This is so hard! Our natural bent is to keep track of those who hurt us, how they hurt us, when they hurt us, how badly they hurt us, and then treat them accordingly. Not only does love say don’t do that, it says receive wrongs suffered as a blessing. Really? According to God’s Holy Word, yes, really!

When we are falsely accused…when we lose our jobs…when our friend betrays us…love does not keep track. Love does not write it down and rehearse it over and over. Love does not hold the wrong suffered against the one who caused the suffering.

In my case, far too often Satan says, “Hey Elaine, thanks for the assistance.” But love says, “Take that Satan!” 

How about you? Does love win out or does our enemy?

Love: Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.

1 Corinthians 13:6

Jesus: Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. 

John 14:5-6

You’ve gotta love Thomas! He asked the questions everyone else was thinking, but was too afraid to ask. And here he asks the only question that matters. “Jesus, how do we get to where you are going?” 

Jesus answered with what is probably the second most quoted verse in the New Testament, John 14:6. Sometimes, though, we get very excited about “the way” part and we really like “the life” part, but that truth piece stuck right in the middle…not so much. 

If we are truthful (and that is a big IF), truth makes us uncomfortable. Truth shines its light on every little itty bitty piece of us and God says every single last piece is filthy rags. Well now, it may be filthy rags on my neighbor, but mine are just a little dusty. I will just shake them off and be fine. Nope! Let’s call a filthy rag and filthy rag. That’s truth. Can we rejoice in that? Will we live rejoicing in all of God’s truth? Or will we withhold our love of truth when the world screams “intolerant,” “bigot,” or “traitor”? 

Here in the USA, we are removed from the persecution so many of our fellow one anothers face because they stand for the Truth. However, I believe the day is quickly coming when we will be persecuted. The question is, will we stand?

Love: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:7

Jesus: He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you,
but My Father who is in heaven. 

Matthew 16: 15-17

You know I love Peter, a man after my own heart. I can only pray that my heart might fully comprehend what he proclaimed in this passage. It is only through claiming, as Peter did, that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, that I can be saved (and I am!). Only then can I even begin to bear, believe, hope, or endure anything, let alone all things. Only then will I understand, just a little, that love never fails. In all of these, God gives me lots of practice! 

And what did Jesus tell Peter? He didn’t figure this eternal truth out by himself. God revealed it to him. We can’t do this love thing on our own! We can’t receive Christ’s love on our own. We do nothing to earn it or deserve it or understand it. It is ALL God revealing Himself and His Son to us. And we can’t live out His love in the world without God’s divine help! So why do we keep trying to do it on our own? 

Love: Love is patient. Love is kind. I Corinthians 13:4

1 Corinthians 13:4

Jesus: So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to him again a second time,
“Simon, son of John, do you love Me?
He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” 

John 21:15-17

Have you ever voiced, “I wish God would just send a bolt of lightning down…?” Usually we say something like this or at least think it when we’ve been hurt deeply or unexpectedly or we are angry over an injustice, maybe even justifiably so. But I know we don’t really want God to zap somebody or a group of somebodies, even if we truly believe it is deserved. How do I know this? Because deep down, we know we are the very ones who deserve that lightning bolt. We are the ones who deserve death and the penalty of separation from God. We are the ones who deserve to pay the price of our own sin debt on the cross. We deserve it, but Jesus paid it all!

Every day that grouchy old neighbor wakes up to a new morning is another day he is not given what he deserves and therefore is given another opportunity to accept what Jesus did. Every moment the unsaved, wayward child spends on the streets is another moment they will not get what they deserve, and it is another moment they have to accept what Jesus did. Every hour the religious zealot beats his drum to ward off evil spirits is another hour he is not given what he deserves and is given another hour to hear the Good News of what Jesus did. 

Every minute of every hour of every day we fail our Lord and sin against His holiness is a day to remember we deserve death. But because of what Jesus did, because He so loved us, and because He called us onto Himself, we won’t get what we deserve. There is nothing more patient or kind than Jesus on the cross and God the Father waiting for us to come. Nor is there any better reason to extend that loving patience and kindness to everyone around us.

Love: Love is not jealous. Love does not brag and is not arrogant.

1 Corinthians 13:4

Jesus: Hearing this, the ten began to feel indignant with James and John. Calling them to Himself, Jesus said to them, “You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them; and their great men exercise authority over them. But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. 

Mark 10:42-44

Did you catch the beginning of Mark 10:42? The other ten disciples began to feel…something. In this case, they were a bit displeased with James and John that they would even ask Jesus if they could sit on His right and His left. And what if Jesus had granted their request? Was a little jealousy, maybe a bit of arrogance, hidden underneath their indignation? Probably, otherwise Jesus wouldn’t have instructed them in the last being first lesson. 

Full blown jealousy and arrogance don’t just happen. They begin with just a little nudge. We may not even notice it at first. In fact, what pours out of our mouths and expressions may not even look like jealousy. We appear sad, frustrated, hurt, defeated, or maybe a tad bit indignant.

But jealous? No! 

We can hide our arrogance well, too. We are self-reliant, sure of ourselves, confident. But arrogant? Come on! We are mature Christians. He supplies all we need. We know all our abilities come from Him. We would never be jealous. Arrogance isn’t even in our mature Christian vocabulary.

Oh, really?

Is that why we long to be first in line just once? Is that why we pause before we can congratulate our friend’s success? Couldn’t we be the one to get the promotion, the award, the pat on the back, the raise? And, of course, we can’t help it if everything we try to do comes out successful. No! No! We aren’t jealous and we certainly aren’t arrogant. We are simply always hopeful and wishful. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming. We simply are determined to be the very best, to pull ourselves up and be all that we can be.

Love: And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:3

Jesus: Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 

Matthew 6:16

In the beginning of Matthew 6, Jesus shares three lessons on how not to worship and serve God, followed by what God is really longing for in our worship and service for Him. The ways not to worship God are all devised by man, something like, “If I were God, this is how I would want to be worshiped. I would want flashy exhibitions as often as possible with some obvious self-depravation thrown in as needed.” 

Jesus reminds us that if we worship man’s way, we have the reward we are looking for: man’s praise and that’s all we will get. God’s love chapter takes it a step further and says we can give up everything and even become a martyr, but if we don’t have love, all that we have done in name only, for  applause only, is only for nothing!

Journal’s Malice

When that first journal was opened on that fateful night, I wanted to give my friend the benefit of the doubt. She really did mean this for my good; she just wasn’t going about it very well. But that benefit dwindled with each pious pause and every gloating tilt of the head until it disappeared into the black hole drilled into my soul as she closed the last journal and said…

“We’ve talked about this and…”

“Wait! Who’s talked about this?”

She named off several of my closest friends and nodded to her husband.

“You’ve shared this with everyone?” I asked. “They all know you’re doing this to me?”

She mumbled something about they didn’t know exactly what she was going to do, but they all agreed someone needed to point out all these flaws and sinful character traits. It was decided she was the best one to confront me. After all, she was a women’s leader.

By now, my husband had found his voice more than once and, ever the peacemaker, was desperately trying to smooth things over between all of us. But he knew with this new information, the night was not only not going to end well, it was about to explode. I literally jumped to my feet. He followed, grabbed my arm, and called for the kids to get their things. We were going home.

I knew my next words were not from God at all. Shame on me! Oh, desperate shame on me! I forgot who my real enemy was. I forgot any ounce of truth she had spoken. And I forgot what Love had done for everyone in that house. I didn’t care! But He did!  

To be continued…

Love: If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:2

Jesus: Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me;
for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Matthew 19:13-14

Jesus’ first pupils had so much to learn and they were trying. It was a lot to comprehend, to say the least. Not only did they have all the lessons Jesus taught, they were also witnesses to all of Jesus’ miracles. And they were even privileged to do a few miracles and cast out demons themselves. Is it any wonder they got a little uppity when a few scrawny kids drew near their Master Teacher? Surely children were not worthy of the Messiah’s time. But Jesus. (I still love that little three letter word). But Jesus rebuked His disciples and gave of Himself to each child who was brought to Him. As a bonus, He added in a lesson on humility and the nature of heaven.

Interestingly, the next experience this band of followers would encounter was with a rich young ruler asking how to have eternal life. I wonder if the disciples were excited at the possibility of this rich influential guy joining their group. Jesus told him to obey the two most important commandments: love God and love others. Then Jesus told this ruler to sell all he had, give to the poor, and then come follow Him. This man wouldn’t do that and he left. 

The very one that appeared to be a great addition to their group wouldn’t come to Jesus, and the wee little ones the disciples tried to block from coming were embraced by the Savior.

We need to guard against having so much knowledge and understanding of mysteries we hinder the little ones (whoever that may be) from coming to Jesus while giving preference to those we think would be great to have on His team. We are not the screening producers for Jesus in a reality show. It is not our place to judge who will lay down all and come and follow. We are His disciples, His students.

Our job is to love the whosoevers and bring them to Jesus.

Journal’s Malice

My friend pulled out another journal. I’d lost count of what number. She turned to the page marked by a pink slip of paper. She started reading about a back yard club I helped start and participate in with another friend. She went on and on about my attitude and some quip remark I’d made to the other friend. Of course, she asked if I remembered the incident and of course I replied I didn’t.

I did ask her if this other friend had shared this information with her. She said she did and that is why she wrote it down. I asked if this other friend was offended. She said she didn’t really know, but wanted to bring it up to me because she would be offended if I’d said it to her. After all, my sarcasm was my worst feature.

Then I asked if she remembered me telling her about the little guy who came to the Lord during the week of our little back yard club. She did recall that, but it did not negate my attitude problem and isn’t it a good thing God worked in the boy’s life in spite of me?

A tear slipped down my cheek. I let go of my husband’s hand to wipe it away. No one would see weakness, not if I could help it.

To be continued…