Heart Matters: Rock Hard

Hello! I am so blessed to be conducting word studies in the book of Proverbs! We are just completing a little mini series to round out our February study of Heart Matters. February may have 29 days this year, but we are still committed to a complete 31 Days study for each word we search for this year. Turns out, we came upon a very challenging verse in Proverbs 28 and I’ve decided to cover it over four blog posts.

Will You join me? It has been a both fascinating and challenging discovery of the calamity that comes to one who hardens their heart against God.

Here is the link to Day 28 on my website 31 Days in Proverbs. [Click Here]

How blessed is the man who fears always,
but he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.
Proverbs 28:14

Heart Matters: Rock Hard: Part 1

Happy New Year!

New Web Devotional begins today!

https://31daysinproverbs.org

Please join me for a 31 day word study in The Proverbs! This month we are diving into Wisdom Calls! Be prepared to be challenged, encouraged and filled to overflowing through Proverbs!

This is a brand new Website and Bible Study program designed for daily and doable investigation into the rich book of Proverbs!

Each month we will study a different Word/s or theme from the book of Proverbs. You can subscribe by entering your email in the box provided on the right hand column when you visit https://31daysinproverbs.org.

Here is a clip from our first day, which is up and loaded!

To know wisdom and instruction,
to discern the sayings of understanding.
Proverbs 1:2

The man who asked God to give him wisdom instead of wealth wanted his son to be wise; not just have a wise thought now and then, but to be in a perpetual state of ‘knowing wisdom’, to always be teachable, to always use discernment, to be known as wise! In other words:

Astute

Intelligent

Prudent

Sensible

Judicious

Shrewd

Knowledgeable

Discerning

May God Richly Bless the Work of Your Hands in 2024! Thank You for you considering joining…

https://31daysinproverbs.org

Seeking Abigail: Scene 11

“You look beautiful!” Chloe twirled her young friend around in circles.

Abigail caught her breath and smoothed out her dress. “It is not much of a wedding garment.”

Chloe lifted her chin with a wrinkled hand. “It is perfect.” She looked deep into her young friend’s eyes. “And you are perfect in Christ, being united with your groom who is also perfect in Christ.”

“I do not feel very perfect.” A tear escaped down her cheek. “Father will not…”

“I know.” The old woman patted her hand. “It is not yet his time to believe. But he will.”

“How, when he will not even acknowledge us?” Her voice trembled. “How can we share this Good News that wells up within us if he will not even be in our presence?”

“Ah…” Chloe picked up the veil and then placed it over the bride’s head. “That is what you said about your mama, too.”

“Yes, but Father is so very stubborn. He forbids even the mention of Jesus.” Abigail grabbed Chloe’s hands. “If they would come.”

“I know. But your mama wisely remains submissive to your father’s declaration even though her heart is breaking.” She twirled the bride one last time. “But we must take every occasion to bring your father into the fold. Yes?” She smiled. “He will be a sheep someday.”

“Thank you, Chloe.” Abigail’s smile was warm and full of unexplainable joy.

“And what have I done to deserve your thanks?”

“You never gave up on me.”

“That was not me my child. It was Jesus who was seeking you all along.”

Take This Personally (e)

The wall was established. John Mark would not be asked to help with his future mission work. I don’t think this was a knee jerk decision on Paul’s part. He was quick to point out Mark’s unreliability to Barnabas and was so set against the idea that he was willing to part ways with the very man who had taken him in when no one else would (Acts 9:26-27). No, Paul had thought about Mark’s unreliability often and established this barrier for Mark long before this conversation took place. But there were several things he didn’t do that he should have.

He didn’t seek counsel or if he did, he didn’t heed it. The strong language used in verse 39 suggests an unbending attitude and inflexibility on his part. It also suggests this is the first Barnabas had heard of Paul’s deep disappointment in John Mark.

Most importantly, Paul did not talk to Mark about this shortcoming nor did he want to talk to him. We can give Paul the benefit of the doubt and suggest he didn’t have opportunity to talk to Mark since the young man had deserted them. Mark was not a cell phone call away. But he could have opportunity to talk to Mark if he would have been willing to take him on his next missionary journey. Paul wasn’t willing to do that. That relationship was done and now so was his relationship to Barnabas. This was not a picture perfect time in Paul’s life.

But! Praise God! He works out His perfect will and plan even when we aren’t doing what we should be doing. Both Paul and Barnabas were used by God throughout the rest of their lives. And Mark was also used in mighty ways by God. Not only did he write one of the Gospels, he became invaluable to Paul. In His grace and mercy, God didn’t let any of these men go, not even unreliable Mark.

Only Luke is with me. Pick up Mark and bring him with you, f
or he is useful to me for service.
II Timothy 4:11

The Bible doesn’t tell us the particulars of how this relationship was restored. Some have suggested Mark just needed time to mature and grow. That is probably true, but that would not have happened if Mark had been left to find his own way. Someone stayed close to him and that someone was Barnabas. This man was not foolish or naïve about Mark’s failings. He was simply willing to take the harder road, the riskier road, and stay in Mark’s life. All three men were stronger disciples because one of them was not only willing to set parameters, but also to love like Christ within those boundaries.

These are just two of the difficult one another types we have in our lives and traits we can exhibit ourselves. There are many more: clingy, obstinate, argumentative, tardy, procrastinator, etc… The key to enjoying fruitful and God-honoring relationships with each of these types is to not give up on them. They are our brothers or sisters in Christ. They are God’s children. He loves them as much as He loves us. He died for them just like He died for us. Like it or not, we will be spending all of eternity (a long time) with them and then all the difficulties will seem so small.

We may have to set up parameters. We may have to practice tough love. We will probably cry…a lot. We will have to spend hours in prayer and in the Word. We will have to leave what is comfortable and easy and invest in what is scary and hard. We will have to strip off our pride and probably seek counsel and help from other one anothers. We will have to lay prostrate before our God daily, even hourly. And we will have to let go and let God every moment of every day.

Above all…

We must never give up! We must never stop loving!

We must take this personally!

Take This Personally (d)

Here again we all are unreliable sometimes, but each of us can name a one another that, for whatever reason, is hardly ever reliable. This is the one another that lets us down time and time again. They say they will help clean up after the fellowship lunch on Sunday, but leave before clean up even begins. They say they will come early on Sunday morning to practice with the praise team, but arrive just ten minutes before the service starts. They offer to help clean out the shrubs on workday Saturday, but spend more time chatting than working. You get the idea.

I suppose there are some folks who actually plan to behave this way, but most of these “unreliables” mean well. They just don’t execute well, and boy do they get on our nerves. Before we realize just how annoying they are, we are setting up barriers. We exclude them from church planning, task forces, and committees. Next, we find excuses to not ask for their help. Finally, we go out of our way to avoid them and eventually a relationship is lost. As weeks, months, and even years go by, we scratch our heads when we learn this one another has left the church and walked away from fellowship with God and ask, “Why?”

Our reactionary barriers may have eased some of our stress levels, but it didn’t preserve the relationship levels. In short, we set up the barriers without loving these one anothers because the loving part requires more effort and a great deal more personal investment than simply building walls. Even the great Apostle Paul took the easy road on this one. Does that surprise you? It did me.

Often I put Paul on some demigod pedestal assuming he never sinned or fell short even though Paul declared that was not at all the case (Romans 7).

After some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brethren in every city in which we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.” Barnabas wanted to take John, called Mark, along with them also. But Paul kept insisting that they should not take him along who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there occurred such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus. But Paul chose Silas and left, being committed by the brethren to the grace of the Lord.
Acts 15:36-39

Here is his dilemma. Paul suggests to Barnabas that they should go back through every city where they had preached and follow up. Barnabas thinks this is a great idea and suggests they take John Mark with them. That’s where the impasse begins.

John Mark had proven to Paul, probably over and over again, that he was unreliable. In fact, Mark was so unreliable that he physically left the work. For Paul, desertion was inexcusable. We aren’t told why Mark left the work. Obviously God didn’t think it was pertinent to the truth being presented. However, I imagine doing ministry with Paul was hard and grueling work. After all, he was a workhorse and a strong personality. Most likely he expected a strong work ethic from those around him. Maybe Mark didn’t think he measured up. Or maybe he felt overwhelmed and didn’t feel qualified. Or maybe he was just exhausted. Whatever the reason, Paul had enough.

Take This Personally (c)

One of the best known stories is the adulterous woman found in John 8:1-11. This woman was a Jew and obviously living in sin. It is not a stretch to guess adultery was her pattern of life, making it easy for the religious leaders to set her up. It is also not a stretch to guess this moment was the lowest low point of her life and she had every reason to believe her life would end that day. Often in sermons and Bible studies, a great deal of emphasis is given to the hypocrisy of the religious leaders (vs. 6-8) in stark contrast to the grace of Jesus (v. 11), and so it should be. But we must not forget Jesus’ comments to this woman because the whole statement is vital.

Here are the parameters: “I do not condemn you. Go and sin no more.” The first parameter is for us. We are not to condemn the one who is sinning. We are not the Judge. We must use discernment. We must place parameters. But we cannot condemn. We cannot give up. The second parameter is for our difficult one another and for us. I say it is for both because we most likely will be setting the practical parameters for our one another to be able to stop sinning. Believe me, this will not be easy.

Are we so naïve to think this woman who lived a life of sinful adultery just slipped back into acceptable Jewish behavior and godly living without any setbacks, confrontations, or consequences? Jesus told her she was not condemned. He didn’t tell her there would be no costs. How many Jewish wives do you think trusted her to get within ten feet of their husbands? Do you think she was all of a sudden welcomed at the early morning water gathering group? Or would she still have to come alone to the well in the heat of the day like the Samaritan woman?

Do we think she was never lonely or longed for a man’s embrace, any man? Was she married? How would her marriage ever heal after this public humiliation even though she was intimately touched by Jesus and His grace? Was there anyone who helped her with the practical side of “sin no more”?

Are we ready and able to set parameters for the one another we love so much? Are we ready to come alongside, whatever that might look like, when she does repent and wants to make things right? Are we ready to allow her to earn our trust again or will we withhold that no matter what she does or says? Do we really want her to live not condemned and sin no more?

We may have to get rid of cable TV and computers to help our spouse combat the power of lust. We may need to drive our child to the Christian rehabilitation farm and walk away as he screams curses at us. We may have to visit our child every Sunday afternoon in the jail visiting room. We may have to change locks or leave the presence of our abuser.

We may have to limit the time and place we are willing to be in contact with these very difficult one anothers. It will not feel like love and it may not look like it, but it may be the most loving thing we can do for them. Can we do that?

How many times do we have to forgive? You know the answer. We forgive an infinite amount of times. Not because they deserve it, but because they don’t deserve it. We forgive because we know we don’t deserve forgiveness either. We are not condoning their sin when we forgive. We are not forgetting. That is impossible for us. We are not stuffing our pain or minimalizing our suffering. We are simply not condemning. This is how Jesus loves even though He has the right to condemn because He is the righteous Judge.

This is so excruciatingly hard! We must remember the true battle. The one against our sworn enemy, Satan, can only be won on our knees. He wants your loved one. You must determine that by God’s grace and His almighty power, Satan can’t have them!

Pray right now for the sinful one another in your life. Pray he or she will come to love God more than they love their sin. Pray for yourself that God will use you and that He will show you when to step out of the way. Then praise His name for what He has already done and for what He will do. Stay on your knees. Do not hurry away. Linger in your Father’s embrace.