Discussion

• Can you remember a time when your own lack of love brought negative consequences? What could you have done differently? Have you sought forgiveness from God and from others? Ask God to help you to do this.

• Which qualities of love are exhibited in the following Scriptures? How can you exhibit these qualities today?
• Matthew 16:23
• John 14:1-4
• Matthew 11:28
• Mark 5:21-43
• Luke 19:1-9

• Write down times in your life when someone has exhibited to you the love attributes listed below. Write down times when you have exhibited these attributes to someone else.
• Love is patient.
• Love is kind.
• Love does not brag.
• Love rejoices in the truth.
• Love endures all things.

• Pick the one love quality from I Corinthians 13 you most need to work on. What is hindering you from putting this love attribute into practice? What can you do to remove these hindrances? How can you move forward in exhibiting this love attribute?

The definition of love found in I Corinthians 13 is long and overwhelming. As mere mortals, it is impossible for us to master all of these qualities at once or even master one on a regular basis. Right now, Satan and our own low expectations want to discourage each of us from even trying because of the seemingly impossibility of it all. We need to fight against that with God’s truth.

God wants us to see the scope of its beauty and He wants us to experience the wealth and abundance love brings into our lives when we submit to His enabling power. So, as we approach this week’s application, we must remember it is NOT about performance. That is not love. It is about a Person and our reflection of that Person to the people in our lives.

It’s easy when reading through such a passage as I Corinthians 13 to think, “Nope, not very patient” and “Nope, not very kind” and “Yep, I think too highly of myself.” But the truth is, we do love well in multiple areas. The examples of our parents, family, and friends teach us how to love and how not to love. Our time in prayer and Bible study also teaches us in this vital area. Some of us are kind most of the time. Some of us have the patience of Job. Still others radiate hope during the most ominous of circumstances.

Let’s not beat ourselves up, nor should we puff ourselves up. As we have seen often in this book, balance is the key to true success in the art of loving one another.

With that final backdrop, let’s get to the business of loving those around us. Let’s be intentional, deliberate, and hard working. Let’s be on the lookout for chances to love. Let’s be sensitive to the times we missed the chance to love or we haven’t been loving when we should have. Then let’s be committed to making it right.

When your child spills another glass of milk, be patient. When your husband forgets to stop for the milk, be kind. When your friend’s chocolate mocha milkshake wins second place in a magazine contest, do not be jealous. When your strawberry/mango milk smoothie wows the ladies at Bible study, do not be arrogant or seek your own praise.

When your sister tells you that dress makes you look fat, do not behave unbecomingly. Do not hold a grudge against your sister for calling you fat. When your husband comes home, do not ask him if the same dress makes you look fat; do not provoke. Do not rejoice in the fact that your neighbor would not even fit in the dress because she clearly weighs more than you do. 

When a famous person gets lots of media attention for yet another DUI, do not covet their fancy car, mega mansion, and closet full of clothes. When the missionary shares her story of living in the bush of Africa and tending to the needs of widows and orphans, rejoice with tears for the Truth being spread to the ends of the earth. 

When another person is stricken with cancer, pray for her, stay with her, and meet as many needs as you can. When the cancer seems to be winning, believe God holds her in His hands, hope for His eternal glory, and endure with her until His glory is known. 

Always remember that with Christ, love never fails!

Journal’s Malice

You thought I was going to leave you hanging in this story, didn’t you? Love would not allow me to do that, to you or to my friend from long ago. Even today, I strongly believe my friend’s biggest mistake was her journaling. She was obsessive about it and you may have surmised she used her journals to chronicle all the wrongs done to her and to her family and friends. Not just my sin, everybody’s. It wasn’t until that night I realized just how wide spread her personal record keeping was within our church.

Please don’t misunderstand. It’s not that journaling is bad. It is, in fact, just a tool. But when it was used in direct opposition to love’s definition in I Corinthians 13, it turned into a tool of Satan.

There really is no other way to put it. It caused great pain to me personally, setting back years of progress I had made in keeping my walls down and trusting others. It also caused deep rifts in that local church body from which they have yet to fully recover even decades later.

And before you take up an offense for me with my friend, please understand that I am just as responsible for what took place that night and the aftermath as she was. You see, many of the accusations she brought against me were true. At first, I agreed with her on several points. It was her motives that spilled out all over her delivery that made the difference in what was communicated that evening.

But that shouldn’t have mattered. I had (and have) the unfathomable power of Jesus living in me through the Holy Spirit. I didn’t have to respond in an ungodly way. What does love say? It does not seek its own. It is not provoked. Trust me! I was all about seeking my own protection and I was more than just a little provoked that night and for a long time afterward. We share the blame for the dishonor brought to the Lord that night and the battle lost to our true enemy, Satan.

With all the years and miles that have separated me from that night, I still remember the awful, deep oppression I felt in that room. I hope I never forget it because it is a good reminder of what happens when God’s children dwell in disobedience. (Again, me as well as my friend.)

In the weeks immediately following that night, I chalked up that oppressiveness to being raked over the coals and subsequently being really ticked off. But through months of healing and prayer with my husband, we both agreed there was a major spiritual battle going on in that suburban living room. We both regret we didn’t see the battle for what it was. So much could have been prevented.

Since that night decades ago, I have distinctly felt similar types of oppression. But now I know to put on God’s armor and fight my real enemy with all God’s power and might. That doesn’t mean I come out of the battle without a scratch. It does mean I come out of the battle singing His praises and glorifying my Savior’s name. I cannot describe in words the difference.

But I say, it is not me…it is all God!

We moved shortly after this incident, and not long after that, so did my friend. It took some time, more than it should have, but I tracked her down and wrote a letter seeking her forgiveness and telling her I valued our friendship. She replied and we kept in touch for a while as friends, but more importantly as one anothers. Life and miles have happened and we will probably never see each other face to face again in this lifetime, but I so look forward to spending eternity with her where we will abide together in our Savior’s love!

This story will never be over and I’m so glad!

Love is not rash and neither is Jesus. He was never provoked to do anything because He did not seek His own will but rather He sought to do the will of God the Father. Even in the most terrible circumstances, He never lowered Himself to be unbecoming. He always behaved like the King of Kings. And quite simply, we should behave like children of the King of Kings!

So, the next time we want to whine and kick and scream, let’s remember Whose we are and behave like the royal children we are.

This is so hard! Our natural bent is to keep track of those who hurt us, how they hurt us, when they hurt us, how badly they hurt us, and then treat them accordingly. Not only does love say don’t do that, it says receive wrongs suffered as a blessing. Really? According to God’s Holy Word, yes, really!

When we are falsely accused…when we lose our jobs…when our friend betrays us…love does not keep track. Love does not write it down and rehearse it over and over. Love does not hold the wrong suffered against the one who caused the suffering.

In my case, far too often Satan says, “Hey Elaine, thanks for the assistance.” But love says, “Take that Satan!” 

How about you? Does love win out or does our enemy?

You’ve gotta love Thomas! He asked the questions everyone else was thinking, but was too afraid to ask. And here he asks the only question that matters. “Jesus, how do we get to where you are going?” 

Jesus answered with what is probably the second most quoted verse in the New Testament, John 14:6. Sometimes, though, we get very excited about “the way” part and we really like “the life” part, but that truth piece stuck right in the middle…not so much. 

If we are truthful (and that is a big IF), truth makes us uncomfortable. Truth shines its light on every little itty bitty piece of us and God says every single last piece is filthy rags. Well now, it may be filthy rags on my neighbor, but mine are just a little dusty. I will just shake them off and be fine. Nope! Let’s call a filthy rag and filthy rag. That’s truth. Can we rejoice in that? Will we live rejoicing in all of God’s truth? Or will we withhold our love of truth when the world screams “intolerant,” “bigot,” or “traitor”? 

Here in the USA, we are removed from the persecution so many of our fellow one anothers face because they stand for the Truth. However, I believe the day is quickly coming when we will be persecuted. The question is, will we stand?

You know I love Peter, a man after my own heart. I can only pray that my heart might fully comprehend what he proclaimed in this passage. It is only through claiming, as Peter did, that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, that I can be saved (and I am!). Only then can I even begin to bear, believe, hope, or endure anything, let alone all things. Only then will I understand, just a little, that love never fails. In all of these, God gives me lots of practice! 

And what did Jesus tell Peter? He didn’t figure this eternal truth out by himself. God revealed it to him. We can’t do this love thing on our own! We can’t receive Christ’s love on our own. We do nothing to earn it or deserve it or understand it. It is ALL God revealing Himself and His Son to us. And we can’t live out His love in the world without God’s divine help! So why do we keep trying to do it on our own? 

Have you ever voiced, “I wish God would just send a bolt of lightning down…?” Usually we say something like this or at least think it when we’ve been hurt deeply or unexpectedly or we are angry over an injustice, maybe even justifiably so. But I know we don’t really want God to zap somebody or a group of somebodies, even if we truly believe it is deserved. How do I know this? Because deep down, we know we are the very ones who deserve that lightning bolt. We are the ones who deserve death and the penalty of separation from God. We are the ones who deserve to pay the price of our own sin debt on the cross. We deserve it, but Jesus paid it all!

Every day that grouchy old neighbor wakes up to a new morning is another day he is not given what he deserves and therefore is given another opportunity to accept what Jesus did. Every moment the unsaved, wayward child spends on the streets is another moment they will not get what they deserve, and it is another moment they have to accept what Jesus did. Every hour the religious zealot beats his drum to ward off evil spirits is another hour he is not given what he deserves and is given another hour to hear the Good News of what Jesus did. 

Every minute of every hour of every day we fail our Lord and sin against His holiness is a day to remember we deserve death. But because of what Jesus did, because He so loved us, and because He called us onto Himself, we won’t get what we deserve. There is nothing more patient or kind than Jesus on the cross and God the Father waiting for us to come. Nor is there any better reason to extend that loving patience and kindness to everyone around us.

Did you catch the beginning of Mark 10:42? The other ten disciples began to feel…something. In this case, they were a bit displeased with James and John that they would even ask Jesus if they could sit on His right and His left. And what if Jesus had granted their request? Was a little jealousy, maybe a bit of arrogance, hidden underneath their indignation? Probably, otherwise Jesus wouldn’t have instructed them in the last being first lesson. 

Full blown jealousy and arrogance don’t just happen. They begin with just a little nudge. We may not even notice it at first. In fact, what pours out of our mouths and expressions may not even look like jealousy. We appear sad, frustrated, hurt, defeated, or maybe a tad bit indignant.

But jealous? No! 

We can hide our arrogance well, too. We are self-reliant, sure of ourselves, confident. But arrogant? Come on! We are mature Christians. He supplies all we need. We know all our abilities come from Him. We would never be jealous. Arrogance isn’t even in our mature Christian vocabulary.

Oh, really?

Is that why we long to be first in line just once? Is that why we pause before we can congratulate our friend’s success? Couldn’t we be the one to get the promotion, the award, the pat on the back, the raise? And, of course, we can’t help it if everything we try to do comes out successful. No! No! We aren’t jealous and we certainly aren’t arrogant. We are simply always hopeful and wishful. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming. We simply are determined to be the very best, to pull ourselves up and be all that we can be.