The wall was established. John Mark would not be asked to help with his future mission work. I don’t think this was a knee jerk decision on Paul’s part. He was quick to point out Mark’s unreliability to Barnabas and was so set against the idea that he was willing to part ways with the very man who had taken him in when no one else would (Acts 9:26-27). No, Paul had thought about Mark’s unreliability often and established this barrier for Mark long before this conversation took place. But there were several things he didn’t do that he should have.

He didn’t seek counsel or if he did, he didn’t heed it. The strong language used in verse 39 suggests an unbending attitude and inflexibility on his part. It also suggests this is the first Barnabas had heard of Paul’s deep disappointment in John Mark.

Most importantly, Paul did not talk to Mark about this shortcoming nor did he want to talk to him. We can give Paul the benefit of the doubt and suggest he didn’t have opportunity to talk to Mark since the young man had deserted them. Mark was not a cell phone call away. But he could have opportunity to talk to Mark if he would have been willing to take him on his next missionary journey. Paul wasn’t willing to do that. That relationship was done and now so was his relationship to Barnabas. This was not a picture perfect time in Paul’s life.

But! Praise God! He works out His perfect will and plan even when we aren’t doing what we should be doing. Both Paul and Barnabas were used by God throughout the rest of their lives. And Mark was also used in mighty ways by God. Not only did he write one of the Gospels, he became invaluable to Paul. In His grace and mercy, God didn’t let any of these men go, not even unreliable Mark. 

The Bible doesn’t tell us the particulars of how this relationship was restored. Some have suggested Mark just needed time to mature and grow. That is probably true, but that would not have happened if Mark had been left to find his own way. Someone stayed close to him and that someone was Barnabas. This man was not foolish or naïve about Mark’s failings. He was simply willing to take the harder road, the riskier road, and stay in Mark’s life. All three men were stronger disciples because one of them was not only willing to set parameters, but also to love like Christ within those boundaries.

These are just two of the difficult one another types we have in our lives and traits we can exhibit ourselves. There are many more: clingy, obstinate, argumentative, tardy, procrastinator, etc… The key to enjoying fruitful and God-honoring relationships with each of these types is to not give up on them. They are our brothers or sisters in Christ. They are God’s children. He loves them as much as He loves us. He died for them just like He died for us. Like it or not, we will be spending all of eternity (a long time) with them and then all the difficulties will seem so small.

We may have to set up parameters. We may have to practice tough love. We will probably cry…a lot. We will have to spend hours in prayer and in the Word. We will have to leave what is comfortable and easy and invest in what is scary and hard. We will have to strip off our pride and probably seek counsel and help from other one anothers. We will have to lay prostrate before our God daily, even hourly. And we will have to let go and let God every moment of every day.

Above all…

We must never give up! We must never stop loving!

We must take this personally!

Here again we all are unreliable sometimes, but each of us can name a one another that, for whatever reason, is hardly ever reliable. This is the one another that lets us down time and time again. They say they will help clean up after the fellowship lunch on Sunday, but leave before clean up even begins. They say they will come early on Sunday morning to practice with the praise team, but arrive just ten minutes before the service starts. They offer to help clean out the shrubs on workday Saturday, but spend more time chatting than working. You get the idea.

I suppose there are some folks who actually plan to behave this way, but most of these “unreliables” mean well. They just don’t execute well, and boy do they get on our nerves. Before we realize just how annoying they are, we are setting up barriers. We exclude them from church planning, task forces, and committees. Next, we find excuses to not ask for their help. Finally, we go out of our way to avoid them and eventually a relationship is lost. As weeks, months, and even years go by, we scratch our heads when we learn this one another has left the church and walked away from fellowship with God and ask, “Why?”

Our reactionary barriers may have eased some of our stress levels, but it didn’t preserve the relationship levels. In short, we set up the barriers without loving these one anothers because the loving part requires more effort and a great deal more personal investment than simply building walls. Even the great Apostle Paul took the easy road on this one. Does that surprise you? It did me. 

Often I put Paul on some demigod pedestal assuming he never sinned or fell short even though Paul declared that was not at all the case (Romans 7).

Here is his dilemma. Paul suggests to Barnabas that they should go back through every city where they had preached and follow up. Barnabas thinks this is a great idea and suggests they take John Mark with them. That’s where the impasse begins.

John Mark had proven to Paul, probably over and over again, that he was unreliable. In fact, Mark was so unreliable that he physically left the work. For Paul, desertion was inexcusable. We aren’t told why Mark left the work. Obviously God didn’t think it was pertinent to the truth being presented. However, I imagine doing ministry with Paul was hard and grueling work. After all, he was a workhorse and a strong personality. Most likely he expected a strong work ethic from those around him. Maybe Mark didn’t think he measured up. Or maybe he felt overwhelmed and didn’t feel qualified. Or maybe he was just exhausted. Whatever the reason, Paul had enough.