Jesus loved individually
Yes, He loved the world. Yes, He cried over Israel’s rejection of Him. And yes, He shed His precious blood for both Jew and Gentile. But He also exhibited these attributes of love individually. His relationship to Peter was different than His relationship to John or Thomas. His rapport was as unique with Mary as it was to Martha. As the Creator, He knew each one of His sheep (followers) intimately, individually, and completely. His love for each one was the same, but His demonstration of love and His methodology of love were expressed individually and specifically.
John
Most commentators believe John was the youngest disciple. He was the younger brother of James and he did outlive the others. More important than his age was his deep love for Jesus and his own expression of that love. What is even more important than this was Jesus’ love for John and His desire for John to express that love back to Him.
The apostle John and I are alike in one way. We like hugs! I need to have my quota of hugs every day or I get grouchy. Certainly, I am not saying John was prone to grouchiness! But it is apparent that he expressed his love with physical touch, not in the perverted way some have twisted the relationship of Jesus with His disciples, but in a most wonderful, manly, culturally acceptable and godly way.
We do not know what physical expressions of love the other disciples experienced with Jesus. Did they hug? Did they give a strong, hardy handshake or clasped arms? Or did they give the traditional greeting of a kiss? We know Judas used this as the sign of his betrayal. What we do know is that physical touch was important enough to John for him to mention it in his gospel several times. And we know Jesus allowed John to love him in his own God-given way.
There was reclining on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. John 13:23
Do we allow people to express their love to us in their own way?
I like to give hugs and I like to receive hugs. Just give me lots of hugs and let me give you a great big bear hug and I’m good to go! But my husband is not that way at all. He likes to give gifts while at the same time; he likes to receive words of affirmation.
For years, we struggled to clearly and honestly express our love to each other. What we finally figured out is that, once again, it isn’t about either/or…it is about both/and. I need to love my man with hugs and with words of affirmation. And I need to let him love me with hugs and with gifts. For too long, I placed a higher value on the hugs which made him feel rebuffed and inadequate. Jesus valued John’s expression of love. I should do the same.
Discussion
Love Individually
Do another, but different love inventory. (I know this is getting too personal. For me too!) This time think about how you love the one anothers around you? Do you love them all the same way without any thought about how they receive that love? Do you love them with a “one size fits all” approach? Do you value and respect their way of loving, though different from yours.
Is it uncomfortable to think of loving someone so that it is meaningful to them? Is it awkward to receive their love when it is different from your own comfortable expression? How can you change that?
- Seek out opportunities to love differently, intentionally, individually.
- Give a hug. You won’t break and neither will they.
- Say those three little words: “I love you.” Come on! You can do it!
- Help your child with her homework. You’ll remember 2 +2 =4 when you need to.
- Jump a generation or two and love someone older or younger than you.
- Keep your word and hold your tongue. Both shout, “I love you.”
- Accept others’ godly love, even if it isn’t your way of loving or doesn’t completely meet your love need. Jesus knows that and He will fill any void.
One Another Living 