In order to get this love thing right, let’s do the obvious and look at the definitions of the Greek words that are translated as our one word love in the English language.
- Eros (n)-Greek word for sexual love or desire. This word is not used in the Bible, but that does not mean sexual desire is wrong. (More on that in a bit.)
- Storge (n)–Greek word for the natural love and affection of a parent for their child. This word is also not used in the Bible, but we know that familial love is very important to God.
- Phileō (v)-Greek word with a basic meaning to approve of, to like, to treat with affection, to treat kindly, to welcome, to befriend, or to be fond of.
- This word is used 22 times as love in the New Testament and its root, philos is used 29 times as friend.
- A form of these is philedelphia and is translated as brotherly love or brotherly kindness five times in the NT.
- Agapaō (v)-Greek word, when used of persons, means to welcome (seen that before), to entertain (that’s interesting), to be fond of (seen this before too), and to love dearly.
- You can also agapaō a thing. Does that surprise you? It did me. When used of a thing, it means to be well pleased, to be contented at or with a thing.
- This word is used 135 times in the New Testament and seven times as beloved. Its noun counterpart, agape, is used 116 times in the NT.
We need to get one of these words out of the way right now. Even though the word eros is not found in the original Greek text of the Bible, it is not a dirty or ungodly concept. On the contrary, God intends for His creation to enjoy a sensual, sexual relationship within His design: one man and one woman for a lifetime in marriage (Genesis 2:24).
But, as man will do, the Greeks took what God created as holy and good and ceremoniously stripped away (pun intended) all the holy aspects of sexual desire and dragged it into the filthy gutter of man’s unholy and debased imagination. This is the direction the Greeks took when they sullied the concept of sexual desire with the formation of their little “g” god, Eros, and the prostitution temples built to honor him and his female counterpart, Aphrodite. It is little wonder that the first century Christians were as confused about godly sexual desire as we seem to be in the 21st century (Hebrews 13:4).
This book is not intended to be a sexual intimacy help book, but I would like to make a few observations about eros (sexual desire) and then we’ll move on. First, sexual desire is not applicable to loving one another, unless the one another is your spouse, in which case it stays where it belongs in the marital bed. I, for one, am very glad for sexual desire. It makes me smile. Just being honest! The key is to keep it between my hubby and me for life.
Second, if the only love you have in your marriage is sexual love, you won’t have much of a foundation for building a life-long relationship. But you probably already know that. Bodies, minds, and emotions grow old and so does sexual desire when that’s all there is.
Conversely, if you don’t have any or very little sexual desire in your marriage, your life-long relationship is missing a vital and exciting piece, one that God never intended to be missing. Paul tells us you are tempting fate if you leave out “the marriage bed” in your marriage.
Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I Corinthians 7:5
Praise God, He can and will help you to put sexual desire in the proper perspective within your marriage and guide you in your lifetime relationship. He will help those of you without a spouse to keep that desire where it belongs…put away…for now. The concept of sexual desire is not sinful, but rather good and well pleasing when it is kept within God’s parameters of marriage. Our problem is we put the majority of our emphasis and effort into eros and very little thought and energy into phileō and agapaō which are the very foundation of loving one another.
One Another Living 