It’s the Final Countdown by Valerie K. Baldwin
In the last 24 hours I have had the 80’s song The Final Countdown d stuck in my head! It is here, the final week, the final countdown to the Baldwin/ Valentine Wedding. Even our date suggests a countdown 3-21, and the final countdown has certainly begun!
This week the countdown is certainly in its final stages. This week culminates six months of work and planning done by so many wonderful people. And this week marks the beginning of a new adventure!
I have had so many people ask me how I am doing.
Are you excited?
Are you nervous?
Are you stressed?
To be honest, I am a little of all three plus countless other emotions.
I am beyond excited to marry Zack! I love starting the process of organizing and decorating our home! I am thrilled that so many of my friends and family are able to come and participate. I am blessed by my parents and siblings for doing so much and providing tremendous support. And I am so thankful for Zack’s family and how they embrace me as their own.
I am excited!
Stress is a perception. It is what you make of it.
Have there been stressful moments? A few. I’ve tried to take the advice of many and let the little things go, and be willing to adapt. Have I been somewhat irrational out of frustration? There have been times where I let the glitches and roadblocks get to me, but then God gently reminds me of what is important; starting a new life with Zack! Nothing else matters.
I am not stressed.
Nerves are relative. I am not nervous, about some things; other stuff, maybe just a little.
Am I nervous about the wedding being perfect? No, what is perfect? Whatever happens; happens. At the end of the day we will be married. Mission accomplished. So if something random happens (as I am sure it will), oh well.
Am I nervous about Zack? Absolutely not! There is nothing but peace in my heart and joy in my soul when I think of marrying Zack, so no nerves there.
Am I nervous about what comes after the countdown, and being a wife?
Yes. I am an organizer who likes to have a plan, so embarking on this new journey does have some nerves to go with it. I think if you truly understand the covenant of marriage it should make you have some butterfly nerves.
But if I am honest, I must confess that I have struggled these past six months of engagement with unhealthy nerves. Well, let’s call them what they are; lies or “Schemes of the Devil” as the Bible puts them.
I have struggled wondering if I will be a good wife? Will I measure up? Will I fail?
I have feared failure for as long as I can remember. Fear has been a stronghold in my life several times over. But I believe God has used those past struggles to prepare me for now. He has prepared me to recognize these fears for the lies they are, and how to give Him each and every one. I will fail at some point that is a sure thing. But God has given me a wonderful partner to do life with that can help me get back up. So I can rest in Whose I am, and I will not fear.
Am I nervous? Not anymore.